So it is 12:48am Thursday. My surgery is at 7am. We have to leave the house around 4am because we have to be there two hours prior.
This may sound silly to some people, but to me it is just what I am feeling. I know I need rest, but I feel if I stay awake that is just a little bit longer I get to be with them.
Tomorrow will be their birthday, but then they will be gone.....
Nathan and I have been talking and we know that we can't be selfish, because where they are is a far better place than where we are now. Having them gone will only make Nathan and I work harder to earn our way into Heaven. So we can be with our babies.
Today we went to the doctor to fill our paper work for the surgery and go over the procedure. They also did an exam to check my ovaries and uterus. The doctor discussed with us that during the procedure he will look around and make sure their isn't anything else bad going on. Since I have so many diagnosed and a history complications.
Yes having the procedure was our choice. Not that we want any of this to be happening by any means, because we don't. But we have heard from several sources this is the best way to go about it. I just couldn't sit around and pass my children.
It will be a healing process for Me, Nathan and our family and friends. But I wouldn't change being able to experiance the joy that We did get to share with everyone for the little time they were with us.
I just ask you to please pray for me, pray for nathan, and pray for our families,
Any kind of surgery is scary, but when they are doing a procedure that could determine the future for alot of things can be unsettleing.
Thank you to all of you for all of your Prayers, Love and Support.......
You are all greatly appreciated.
I would like to give you two titles of songs and artist that have really touched my heart at this time.
If you get a chance check them out.
Natalie Grant- Held
Josh Wilson- Before the morning
7/21/10
7/20/10
A day we will never forget....
For the past couple of weeks I have been anxiously awaiting our 8week doctor appointment. Last night I could barely sleep. So I went to take and shower and help relax. I stood in the shower and just prayed, Prayed that God would bless us with a healthy baby growing inside of me, Prayed that all my worries would be put aside, Prayed that everything would be fine......
Today we anxiously waited for the nurse to call us back. We went into the sonogram room first. I had a vaginal sonogram today to get a closer look. As she moved the probe around we saw a baby she said here is one. ( I was thinking your counting...) then here is the other. TWINS.
Then she asked if i have had any bleeding? I just knew at that moment something wasn't right. My heart sank. I told her no. No cramping. No bleeding.
Then the moment that would take my breath away and choke because I would hold back the tears.
She told us that she wasn't seeing any cardiac movement in either of the babies.
She also told us that my uterus had a dip in the top of it making less space for the babies and that instead of growing in the middle of the uterus they were growing on one side. Also the babies are sharing a sac. Twins usually have their own. But can sometimes form and share in the same sac.
Worse day of my life...........
They gave us three options
1.) Wait to see if it would pass on it's own
or check the babies in two weeks to see if anything shows up.
2) Give me medicine to induce the passing
3) Surgery to remove the babies
I already knew what I wanted to do...Wait....
We are going back to the doctor August 2nd that's 2 weeks.
If nothing has changed we will have a D&C that day.
Please Keep us in your prayers.
Today we anxiously waited for the nurse to call us back. We went into the sonogram room first. I had a vaginal sonogram today to get a closer look. As she moved the probe around we saw a baby she said here is one. ( I was thinking your counting...) then here is the other. TWINS.
Then she asked if i have had any bleeding? I just knew at that moment something wasn't right. My heart sank. I told her no. No cramping. No bleeding.
Then the moment that would take my breath away and choke because I would hold back the tears.
She told us that she wasn't seeing any cardiac movement in either of the babies.
She also told us that my uterus had a dip in the top of it making less space for the babies and that instead of growing in the middle of the uterus they were growing on one side. Also the babies are sharing a sac. Twins usually have their own. But can sometimes form and share in the same sac.
Worse day of my life...........
They gave us three options
1.) Wait to see if it would pass on it's own
or check the babies in two weeks to see if anything shows up.
2) Give me medicine to induce the passing
3) Surgery to remove the babies
I already knew what I wanted to do...Wait....
We are going back to the doctor August 2nd that's 2 weeks.
If nothing has changed we will have a D&C that day.
Please Keep us in your prayers.
7/12/10
roller coaster ride
I am officially an emotional mess. Not that I want to be by any means. I talk to God everyday because I know that he is guiding my way, I just have to let him lead. And for me that can sometimes be a little hard because I want to be in control I want things my way. Nathan has been laid off for a month now. This past week seemed to be a little better because he had an interview with a company in Wichita and a phone interview with a company in Duncan, OK. We will hopefully hear something back in the next couple of weeks. For the interview in Duncan, OK their were 150 applicants and it was narrowed down to 14 we are just so fortunate that we was chosen for an interview. It is a little stressful around here and money is tight. But Nathan is such a good husband and care taker. He does what ever it takes to provide for our family. He has been doing odd and end jobs and also Hyper Tec has had some work for him for the past week so that is really good. I know everything will work out, but right now it's a little hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
On the other hand I am 7 weeks and 2days. It is really exciting and I don't want to think negative in any way but it is just in me to worry a little. My first doctors appointment in July 20th. So this next week I am going to stay with my mom in Fort Worth to help the time go alittle faster. I just want everything to go perfectly and have a healthy little baby growing inside of me. I wish my mom could be here for the appointment as does she, but her and my dad are going on a trip to Mexico. They deserve it!!
I am still on the suppositories Prometrium my dose is kinda high I do it 3 times a day. It is very annoying but I am going to do what ever is best for our baby.
How I have been feeling
Tired, I have my days and nights mixed up! (not to good)
Not much morning sickness at all. But every time around 2-3:30 AM I seem to get an upset stomach.
So I went and bought some Tums and they really seem to be helping.
Moody I just seem to get irritated pretty easily
Very emotional seem to get my feelings hurt pretty easy I cried for an hour earlier.
Very thirsty like i can't get enough to drink
Frequent trips to the bathroom just seems like it is uncomfortable to hold it now.
Some food that I loved any other day just doesn't really sound good now. My taste buds
have been outta wack.
I don't want sweet stuff It seems to taste extra sugary to me
I do want salty stuff
Nathan
On the other hand I am 7 weeks and 2days. It is really exciting and I don't want to think negative in any way but it is just in me to worry a little. My first doctors appointment in July 20th. So this next week I am going to stay with my mom in Fort Worth to help the time go alittle faster. I just want everything to go perfectly and have a healthy little baby growing inside of me. I wish my mom could be here for the appointment as does she, but her and my dad are going on a trip to Mexico. They deserve it!!
I am still on the suppositories Prometrium my dose is kinda high I do it 3 times a day. It is very annoying but I am going to do what ever is best for our baby.
How I have been feeling
Tired, I have my days and nights mixed up! (not to good)
Not much morning sickness at all. But every time around 2-3:30 AM I seem to get an upset stomach.
So I went and bought some Tums and they really seem to be helping.
Moody I just seem to get irritated pretty easily
Very emotional seem to get my feelings hurt pretty easy I cried for an hour earlier.
Very thirsty like i can't get enough to drink
Frequent trips to the bathroom just seems like it is uncomfortable to hold it now.
Some food that I loved any other day just doesn't really sound good now. My taste buds
have been outta wack.
I don't want sweet stuff It seems to taste extra sugary to me
I do want salty stuff
Nathan
Amber
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About Me
- nathan&ambersymank
- My name is Amber and my wonderful husband is Nathan. We got married on December 13,2008. We have been together for 7 wonderful years! Being married is the best, it is just amazing getting to experience everything in life with your bestfriend. Nathan is a Mechanical Engineering graduate from Midwestern State University. He works for a company called Hydra Rig. We love going to Texas Country concerts, hanging out with our families and enjoying life hand in hand. We love God! We adopted a dog Willie a 2 yr. old beagle and have a 9 month old cat named Romeo! For now they are our babies!!
