what a weekend

What an eventful weekend. On Friday night my SIL was taken to the hospital and she is in Preterm labor. She is now at Harris Hospital in Fort Worth. If she doesn't have little Wesley anytime soon she will be in the hospital until she is 35weeks. Pleas keep Jamie, Eric and baby Wesley in your prayers. We love y'all and want you all home safe and healthy.

Friday night I had started bleeding and having really bad back pain. This would be my first cycle since the D & C. I can usually tolerate alot of pain but by Saturday mid morning i was in so much pain it hurt to stand, sit or do anything. All I could do was cry. Nathan took me to the E.R and my blood pressure was through the roof. They put me on an IV and gave me pain meds through my IV that knocked me out. The pain was like I was having contractions and probably trying to pass more tissue. I stayed in the hospital all day and got to rest and get fluids and my blood pressure came down. I also got a sonogram just to make sure everything looked ok. Everything was fine. So they gave me pain meds for when I went home and I have to take antibiotics to clear up a bladder infection and just rest. Today I am feeling alot better.

We still haven't moved yet. Two house deals fell through, But that is ok we found another one and God is leading us where we need to be. We can't close on the house until Sept 24th and move until Sept. 28th. So Nathan stays in a hotel all week while working and comes home on the weekend. This has just been so stressful physically, emotionally and financially. We hope to get settled soon and start our new life.

.......

I thought of you and closed my eyes,

And prayed to God today.

I asked what makes a Mother,

And I know I heard him say:

A mother has a baby,

This we know is true.

But, God, can you be a mother,

When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can he replied,

With confidence in his voice.

I give many women babies,

When they leave is not thier choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,

And others for a day.

And some I send to feel your womb,

But theres no need to stay.

I just don't understand this God,

I want my baby here.

He took a breath and cleared his throat,

And then I saw a tear.

I wish that I could show you,

What your child is doing today,

If you could see your child smile,

With other children who say:

We go to earth and learn our lessons,

Of love and life and fear.

My mommy loved me oh so much,

I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a mom,

Who had so much love for me.

I learned my lessons very quickly,

My mommy set me free.

I miss my mommy oh so much,

But I visit her each day.

When she goes to sleep,

On her pillow's where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,

And whisper in her ear.

"Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here."

So you see my dear sweet one,

Your children are Ok.

Your babies are here in My home,

They'll be at heavens gate for you.

So now you see what makes a mother.

It's the feeling in your heart.

It's the love you had so much of,

Right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,

until their time is done.

They'll be up here with Me one day,

And you'll know that you're the best one!

~Author Unknown

Things you may not have known....

• We are moving to Oklahoma for my husbands new job
• I am here in Texas, he is there (until we get a house)
• I have 3 brothers "one is an angel" and one sister
• My mom is my guardian angel
• My husband and I have been together almost 7 years
• I love jazz and swing music
• I love all things vintage
• I day dream about new design ideas for my future home
• I love to decorate and help other's
• I want to be an event coordinator
• love to  paint
• making jewelry
• crafting in general
• Sometimes when I cook I pretend I am on a cooking show
• the smell of a fresh house
• I don't like a cluttered looking home
•  the feel of a clean freshly made bed
• Candle lit baths
• the smell of coffee in the canister
• We have twin angel babies
• We are so ready for a baby to have on earth with us
• Fall and Christmas- scents, decorations, weather, spending time with family
• Photography
• James Avery jewelry
• the great friends in family in my life
• We have a beautiful niece and a handsome nephew on the way
• our next big trip we want to go to Montana or Wyoming
• I love getting pedicures
• I love when my husband surprises me
• My husband spoils me "he says he can't tell me no"
• i love giving gifts, but hardly receive them
• that's ok because i love bringing happiness to others
• i love the simple things
• holding hands with my love
• watching the sunset
• just knowing no matter what we have each other
• I love the east coast beach
• my favorite color is purple
• my favorite color for my house is Robins egg blue and brown
• I love Jesus
• I am Catholic
• When i see a cardinal It reminds me of my Nana and I know she is watching over me
• I love making people laugh
• We have a cat and a dog we love
• I am fascinated by the Amish
• It was just so neat getting to go to their homes they work so hard
• I want to go to Ireland
• I would love to live in the hillsides of Italy
• I am Choctaw Indian
• I love to sing
• Scentsy is great
• but i do love candles
• I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty
• I love helping my husband on whatever he is working on
• We collect DVDs
• chic flicks
• sometimes i just need a good cry
• i like receiving cards and letter's
• We have met some amazing people
• We have gotten to hear some amazing testimonies
• I am open to sharing my/our testimonies

Feel free to email me ambersymank@yahoo.com

Thank you for all your support.....

Thank you to everyone who has supported us. We will get to thank you cards soon, but please be don't be forgotten. We are at the beginning of packing our house up and trying to find a new one. Nathan got a New job in Duncan, Oklahoma so we are trying to get everything rounded up because we barely have THREE WEEKS to get there.

Held

So it is 12:48am Thursday. My surgery is at 7am. We have to leave the house around 4am because we have to be there two hours prior.


This may sound silly to some people, but to me it is just what I am feeling. I know I need rest, but I feel if I stay awake that is just a little bit longer I get to be with them.

Tomorrow will be their birthday, but then they will be gone.....

Nathan and I have been talking and we know that we can't be selfish, because where they are is a far better place than where we are now. Having them gone will only make Nathan and I work harder to earn our way into Heaven. So we can be with our babies.

Today we went to the doctor to fill our paper work for the surgery and go over the procedure. They also did an exam to check my ovaries and uterus. The doctor discussed with us that during the procedure he will look around and make sure their isn't anything else bad going on. Since I have so many diagnosed and a history complications.

Yes having the procedure was our choice. Not that we want any of this to be happening by any means, because we don't. But we have heard from several sources this is the best way to go about it. I just couldn't sit around and pass my children.

It will be a healing process for Me, Nathan and our family and friends. But I wouldn't change being able to experiance the joy that We did get to share with everyone for the little time they were with us.

I just ask you to please pray for me, pray for nathan, and pray for our families,
Any kind of surgery is scary, but when they are doing a procedure that could determine the future for alot of things can be unsettleing.

Thank you to all of you for all of your Prayers, Love and Support.......

You are all greatly appreciated.





I would like to give you two titles of songs and artist that have really touched my heart at this time.
If you get a chance check them out.

Natalie Grant- Held

Josh Wilson- Before the morning

A day we will never forget....

For the past couple of weeks I have been anxiously awaiting our 8week doctor appointment. Last night I could barely sleep. So I went to take and shower and help relax. I stood in the shower and just prayed, Prayed that God would bless us with a healthy baby growing inside of me, Prayed that all my worries would be put aside, Prayed that everything would be fine......


Today we anxiously waited for the nurse to call us back. We went into the sonogram room first. I had a vaginal sonogram today to get a closer look. As she moved the probe around we saw a baby she said here is one. ( I was thinking your counting...) then here is the other. TWINS.

Then she asked if i have had any bleeding? I just knew at that moment something wasn't right. My heart sank. I told her no. No cramping. No bleeding.

Then the moment that would take my breath away and choke because I would hold back the tears.
She told us that she wasn't seeing any cardiac movement in either of the babies.

She also told us that my uterus had a dip in the top of it making less space for the babies and that instead of growing in the middle of the uterus they were growing on one side. Also the babies are sharing a sac. Twins usually have their own. But can sometimes form and share in the same sac.



Worse day of my life...........

They gave us three options

1.) Wait to see if it would pass on it's own
or check the babies in two weeks to see if anything shows up.

2) Give me medicine to induce the passing

3) Surgery to remove the babies


I already knew what I wanted to do...Wait....

We are going back to the doctor August 2nd that's 2 weeks.
If nothing has changed we will have a D&C that day.

Please Keep us in your prayers.

roller coaster ride

I am officially an emotional mess. Not that I want to be by any means. I talk to God everyday because I know that he is guiding my way, I just have to let him lead. And for me that can sometimes be a little hard because I want to be in control I want things my way. Nathan has been laid off for a month now. This past week seemed to be a little better because he had an interview with a company in Wichita and a phone interview with a company in Duncan, OK. We will hopefully hear something back in the next couple of weeks. For the interview in Duncan, OK their were 150 applicants and it was narrowed down to 14 we are just so fortunate that we was chosen for an interview. It is a little stressful around here and money is tight. But Nathan is such a good husband and care taker. He does what ever it takes to provide for our family. He has been doing odd and end jobs and also Hyper Tec has had some work for him for the past week so that is really good. I know everything will work out, but right now it's a little hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

On the other hand I am 7 weeks and 2days. It is really exciting and I don't want to think negative in any way but it is just in me to worry a little. My first doctors appointment in July 20th. So this next week I am going to stay with my mom in Fort Worth to help the time go alittle faster. I just want everything to go perfectly and have a healthy little baby growing inside of me. I wish my mom could be here for the appointment as does she, but her and my dad are going on a trip to Mexico. They deserve it!!

I am still on the suppositories  Prometrium my dose is kinda high I do it 3 times a day. It is very annoying but I am going to do what ever is best for our baby.

How I have been feeling

Tired, I have my days and nights mixed up! (not to good)

Not much morning sickness at all. But every time around 2-3:30 AM I seem to get an upset stomach.

So I went and bought some Tums and they really seem to be helping.

Moody I just seem to get irritated pretty easily

Very emotional seem to get my feelings hurt pretty easy I cried for an hour earlier.

Very thirsty like i can't get enough to drink

Frequent trips to the bathroom just seems like it is uncomfortable to hold it now.

Some food that I loved any other day just doesn't really sound good now. My taste buds
have been outta wack.

I don't want sweet stuff It seems to taste extra sugary to me

I do want salty stuff


                                                  Nathan

Amber